What Is Happiness?

Lykke: the Danish word for “happiness”

Denmark has been named the “happiest country in the world,” but what does that truly mean?  

The definition offered to us by our trusty Merriam Webster says, “happiness” is a state of well-being and contentment. Now with that incredibly vague and useless statement, one might still be wondering how to be happy.

Well, it seemed only suitable, with Denmark topping the happiness charts, to begin the search there. Meik Wiking is the CEO at The Happiness Research Institute located in Copenhagen, and he recently published “The Little Book of Lykke,” AKA “The Little Book of Happiness.” Brilliant.

In this book, he establishes the necessary pillars of happiness. As you might assume, most of the pillars are intuitive, but are emphasized with examples that may not be as incredibly obvious.

One pillar of happiness is the idea of “togetherness.”

• With more people around us, the happier we feel.
• Social support systems (friends, families, people we can rely on in times of need) are the best predictor of our overall happiness… We’ve heard this one before.

Taking it a step further, Wiking expands on a co-living situation that began in Denmark during the 1970s. Compounds consisting of 20 to 40 people would live in these tiny communities with a focus on togetherness. Every family would eat dinner together 4 or 5 days each week. The families would cook together (a bond that is unparalleled by other activities), eat together, and engage with one another on a nightly basis.

Having a close, smaller network of people, families, and neighbors allowed these participants an opportunity for greater impact, deeper connections, and more human association than the average person.

With deeper bonds and a stronger sense of community, those living in these “compounds” experienced much lower levels of loneliness because they had a reliable group of people they cared for and could depend upon.

Though this trend began in the 70s in Denmark, it’s growing in the US, UK, and Germany. You might be thinking, “Yes, but, the 70s were a totally different time.” You’re right, but delving into the origin of this practice may have you thinking twice about how we can slowly incorporate these neighborly bonds without selling the house and moving to a commune.

• In the 70s, people were experimenting with a softer edge between the private and the public domain. 
• *GASP!* People actually wanted to interact with strangers?
• Yes.

Now, if community living situations like this are too extreme, how can we take principles of co-living to our own neighborhoods to reap some of the benefits?

• One way to begin softening the edges of the private and public realms is by engaging in shared spaces.
• Balconies, courtyards, etc. Think about places where you could read a book and have alone time, but your neighbors could also say hi. These spaces offer the perfect opportunity to begin a new relationship with a stranger.

An example of “shared spaces” within your neighborhood is a community garden. Neighborhood gardens provide those living nearby the opportunity to grow nutritious, fresh, and local food as a community.  Especially for those living in urban areas, these volunteer-based gardens can become a welcomed sanctuary. Working together with the common goal of bettering your community brings you closer to those physically nearest to you while offering a space for like-minded individuals to gather.

If you’re still on board, I have one more example of blending private and public spaces…. The Mini Library. It’s uncanny the effect words can have on us, making reading a top hobby for a lot of people. Now imagine the rush of excitement you’d feel as an avid reader, stumbling upon a tiny, wooden box in the middle of your neighborhood with dozens of books… FOR FREE. Yes, these exist.

The idea is should you remove a book from the Tiny Library, you replace it with one of your own. This exchange keeps the library forever stocked, but with ever-changing titles. Perhaps the book you just took was your neighbors new favorite read, or maybe you donated your thrice-read copy of The Notebook hoping the tear stains aren’t too noticeable. Whether we actively notice or not, we can become attached to our books and their stories. Sharing that with our neighbors creates an unspoken bond brought together by well-read words.

Bonds, togetherness, unity: that’s what creates happiness.

• Become the initiator for a community garden in your neighborhood.
• Research what foods grow best in your region.
• Start planting.
• Build your own tiny library.
• Set it up right in your front yard.
• Scour your shelves for dusty titles and give them the chance for new hands to hold them.
• Smile wide.
• Greet warmly.
• Create connections.
• And maybe… you’ll feel that indefinable feeling.
• Happy.